Weigh Day...No Loss :(

      I am still at 194lbs today. I am trying to stay positive and look at the bright side. I mean, at least I didn't gain! I know what it was though. I didn't work out last week, maybe one or two days. I also drank waaaaay too much (alcohol) one night this week, so that was my bad too. So, I'm getting back into exercising today. I'm just going to start week three today since I didn't do much of it last week. I lost focus this week and it makes me mad at myself. Its been 7 weeks and I've only lost 12lbs! That is unacceptable! So, this week on the days that I work in the morning, I will workout as soon as I get home. On days that I work at night, I will workout as soon as I wake up. If I don't have work, I will workout in the evenings. I am going to do this!

192

      That is what I saw on the scale this morning! I know its not weigh-day yet, but I was happy. I havn't worked out in three days :(. On Monday evening, I was in awful pain. I think I had a pinched nerve in my back. I couldn't stand up straight, and felt like I could barely breathe! I am better now. I was upset that I had to skip workouts, but I didn't want to do that again! I know I have to get back at it, and I will do so tonight.

      Its been since Monday since I've written and not much is really going on. I've eaten pretty well, aside from having a bunch of Indian food a few days ago, but I think I was still on plan. I've been making a bunch of stenciled t-shirts with freezer paper and fabric paint. I will post pics tonight. Still not much Hindi learning. I really need to jump back into that too.

Finally!!! A Weigh-Day I am HAPPY about!

      So I got on the Wii Fit Plus this morning and it said I am at 194lbs!!! That means two things..

1. I lost 5.5lbs!
2. According to my BMI, I am no longer 'obese', I am now just 'overweight'!

 I want to write more, but it will have to wait until after work.... later!

Grilled is Good :D

So for the past two nights, I've made dinner on the grill. Last night I grilled some onions, zucchini, squash, tomatoes and turkey sausage. Doesn't it look YUMMY!


Tonight's dinner was grilled squash, onions, zucchini-over brown rice, turkey burgers, and bruschetta. I had eaten almost all of my veggies and rice before I remembered to take a pic lol...


      Workout was a little late this evening, but I got it done all the same! Tomorrow I am going to have Indian food with a friend. I will have to make sure that I set aside a good amount of calories, because I LOVE Indian food. (Though not as much as I love a certain Indian! lol)

      Other than all that, today was a pretty uneventful day. Ate pretty well, drank plenty of water, exercised. Not much else going on...

How could I forget?!?!???

      Somehow I forgot to workout yesterday. I know what you may be thinking, 'forgot'? Suuuure ya did. You just didn't want to do it. But that is not the case at all yesterday. I was apparently really distracted yesterday, and was soooo mad at myself when I figured out I had forgotten to workout. I've decided to just stop worrying so much. Instead of skipping it, I am doing yesterday's workout today, today's will be tomorrow and so on till I get to Sunday (my normal day off of workout) which will end up being my Saturday. So basically I won't get a day off from working out this week because I was a dummy and forgot yesterday. I'll still finish on time though, so I'm happy.

      I must be getting near the end of my TOM too. I got on the scale this morning at it said I had lost 3+lbs since yesterday. Must be all the water I was retaining! I'm just glad to see it moving again. I found some older pics from September 14, 2009. I was around 217lbs. I took some on the 4th, so here is the comparison..










Here are the pics of the shirts I was stenciled yesterday...
`







Anyway.. I'm going to finish up watching this movie and then workout!

29 Work-outs to go...

      ...until I finish the Biggest Loser: Last Chance Workout 6-week program. I noticed yesterday while doing week 2 day 1, that push-ups and squats were becoming much easier. I can't wait to get done with a few more weeks to see how different it is!

Coming up with some stencils to make some cool t-shirts.. I'll post pics with the results soon!

Crazy weekend, but back on track!

      Lets do a little replay of the weekend... Saturday I got up and we walked 2 miles to my Aunt's house. I then drove her car home and worked out for about 20-25 minutes and didn't have time to finish it all because I was going to be late for work if I did. BUT, I don't feel bad because I'm pretty sure I was close to being done anyway, and plus, we had waked 2 miles lol. I did pretty good about eating on Saturday, but I had also started my TOM that afternoon, so that sucked. Then on Sunday, I started off eating well, then ate somethings I probably shouldn't have.. no wait, not probably, I just shouldn't have eaten them at all! I also had some shots and a couple beers. So that was a bad choice as well, but I'm not beating myself up about it.

      So, I get up this morning and weigh first on my regular scale (naked). It says 201.6. That sucked, but I figured, I did eat off plan last night and I am also probably retaining water from both TOM and drinking last night. Then I get on the Wii Fit Plus, and it tells me I weigh 199.5(clothed). I've been trying to do research and find out how accurate the Wii Fit balance board is at measuring weight. I've gotten mixed reviews, but, I've heard a lot saying it is quite accurate and if you are using it on carpet, the foot extensions are a MUST. I use it on carpet that is pretty thin and quite flat, and I do have the extensions on. So, I've decided to start weighing myself on the Wii Fit for my weigh days, as well as everyday when I do the body test and yoga and etc. So today will be recorded as 199.5lbs.

      Work today 1-9. Not really looking forward to it, but I am going to get up shortly and workout before I have to get ready. I'm on Day 7! I'm sticking with this! I HAVE to get rid of this weight. Not only for me, but for my Jaan. He still hasn't told his dad about me. I'm so nervous about that. I don't want him to rush into telling him, but I don't want it to take forever! I also need to get to work on some Hindi learning! I am slacking and need to get on that.

OK, just about workout time.... If anyone actually reads this, have a good day!

    

Rollercoaster day.. and not the fun kind!

      Today has just been one of those days, but the good part is, I know why!!! I've been PMSing and having these crazy mood swings! One moment I'll be fine, then the next, I'll be pissed off, and then I'll be crying my eyes out! UGH! Its quite annoying. The sucky thing is, I don't have a room of my own to go and sulk and be alone in. I have to either go to the bathroom (which I did, to have a good cry) or sit out on the couch/bed. Right now I'm in one of those moods where I don't want to do anything. I even decided not to go to my Aunt's with my Mom and Sis because I just didn't want to be around all of them. At least this craziness has not led me to make bad decisions and choices today. I ate pretty well today. I had Mongolian bbq for lunch, but i loaded my bowl with good stuff like chicken, tofu, veggies, and their sauces were all pretty low cal. Mine was mainly their teriyaki sauce, which has like 30 cals per serving. I also had brown rice instead of white and lettuce bowls instead of tortillas. The only thing is it was probably high in sodium, so I made sure to drink plenty of water. I also didn't skip out on my workout! I am happy to report Day 5 is complete. Just gotta do tomorrow's workout before I go to work, and I get Sunday off!

      I got some B12 supplements while I was out today. Its supposed to boost your metabolism and give you energy. I've heard of people getting B12 injections to help them to lose weight, so who knows, maybe it will help. 

Day Four Done!

      Finished day number four! I actually did it by myself this evening because Mom is off helping my Aunt get ready for the weekend. I am getting really good at my squats, but my lunges really need work. I can't sink down as far as they can. I think it is because on my right leg, my knee hurts, and my left ankle is the one I sprained lol. I'm hoping that over time it will all get better!

New Month, New Goals...

      Another month has passed, and a new month begins! With a new month, comes new goals, because I obviously didn't make my last goal. So, my goals for this month are as follows:

• July 5-197lbs
• July 12-"Overweight" BMI of 29.9-194lbs
• July 31-189lbs
• Workout with The Biggest Loser: Last Chance Workout DVD 6 days/week
• Use the Wii Fit Plus everyday

      I decided to just make my goals at the beginning of every month, rather than all at once for the next few months. That way, if I do miss/surpass my goals, I can make new ones the next month to go for. 

      As I said yesterday, I am at Mom's office today. I am trying to summon the enthusiasm to paint, but I don't think I have some of the tools I need to do some of the paintings I had planned. I really need my exacto knife, but it was left at home. I may just do some sketching or doodling. We are leaving here early today around 1 o'clock or so, because Mom needs to help my Aunt with shopping for my Uncle's big Birthday/4th of July weekend bash. His birthday is on Sunday, but apparently they are partying the whole weekend. (Quick side-note... I don't think I wrote about this before, but we started our own little Biggest Losers' Club, that includes me, Mom, my Aunt, Uncle, and two cousins. Our first weigh in was last Monday, and according to her Wii Fit {which is what we are all weighing on} I had lost 3.7lbs that last week. I don't know how accurate that was because I had worn different clothing both times. My Aunt won with a loss of like 7.1 lbs. Everyone else at least had a loss. Mom was the one with the smallest loss of 0.7lbs. My littlest sis decided to join us so she did her starting weight then. Anyway, since everyone is partying and drinking this weekend, they will be eating tons of food and drinking alcohol... gaining lots of weight muahahaha! I will probably be the only sober one, and I hope to win next Monday's weigh in!)

      Oh, also, I weighed on the Wii Fit Plus this morning. I was wearing the same clothes as I did yesterday, (which I will be doing every time) and it said I had lost 0.2lbs. Not bad!

Day Three, and still going!!

      Finished day 3 today! It sucked again but I finished! I guess you know that its a good workout if you want to  collapse into the fetal position because all your muscles are burning. I will say that my right knee has started to hurt, but I think it may be because I balance better with my right leg, so I put more on it. My little sis joined us today and tried to do the whole thing. She had to stop on the last circuit because she said she was going to throw up. I felt the same way when I did it the first time.

      I also got Wii Fit Plus today! I really really like it. It has great stuff for balance, yoga, strength training, and a few aerobic exercises. Its not all that intense, but I really enjoy the yoga. It makes you stretch all your muscles. It also tracks your weight, BMI, and you can even enter your waist measurement in. I measured at 46" today. Its definitely not a replacement for actual exercise, but its fun. I think I weighed 197.7 on it today.



Not much painting or Hindi learning lately. I need to do some of that tomorrow. I am going to Mom's office, so I should be able to get something done.

Day two accomplished!

      So Mom and I finished day two of the BL:Last Chance Workout. I must say that I like these even days better than the odd days. The first day is the warm-up, last chance workout, and cool-down. The next day is warm-up, upper body, lower body, cool-down. The even days are easier than the odd days, but not by much, and they still kick my butt! I had been so sleepy before we started. I had even fallen asleep before Mom woke me up to start, and now I feel energized and not sleepy. I have never had a work-out DVD or VHS that has made me sweat as much as this one has!

Sorry!! I've been slacking :-/

      OK, so its been a week since my last post. I suck. Today's weigh-in sucked too. I weighed in this morning at 199.8lbs. Soooo frustrating, but I can really only blame myself. I slacked off a little last week. Especially because Mom and I went down to NC. We camped out one night and then stayed at a hotel the next. Plus, I went and saw old friends and had beer. BUT, I am not trying to make excuses. I will just have to try all the harder this week. Mom and I started our new DVD, The Biggest Loser: Last Chance Workout. It is INSANE. I was dying! Though, I will say that it is an incredible workout! My heart rate was up the whole time and I sweat like crazy. There is an option to do a 6-week program. Week 1-2 is the same. Workouts from Monday-Saturday. The front of the case claims that you can lose up to 32lbs in 6 weeks, I highly doubt I will, but I am going to give it my all. I'm not going to let myself make excuses this week. If I work, I can do it before or after work. I think this is how I need to go about his whole thing. One week at a time. So here we go... Biggest Loser week 1... NO MORE EXCUSES!

Weigh-in: Gain :(

      BUT, I only gained .2lbs. So I'm at 199.  I'm switching up what I am doing though. Today I started counting calories. I'm aiming for 1600/day this week, and I'll see how that works for me. I bought a set of weights today. They can get up to 40lbs. I also got a DVD: Biggest Loser: Last Chance Workout. So I'm going to try those out and see how I do.

      Tomorrow, Mom and I are getting up and going to NC to pick up some of my and Jaan's stuff that we left there. My ex is getting ready to move, so if I don't get that stuff now, I'll never see it again. Instead of shelling out a bunch of mulah for a motel room, we decided to stay at a campground and just sleep in a tent. I don't mind, I like camping. Plus, there are trails that we can hike on to get some exercise in while we're away. Looking forward to seeing some friends, not the ride though lol.

Hmmm..

      Well it doesn't seem like I will reach my goal for Monday. Either I've hit a bit of a plateau, or I'm retaining water in my sore muscles. I'm hoping its the latter. Mom and I went and walked yesterday and it was awful!! My legs were soooo sore, and this time we took a trail that made it even longer! We did 2.97 miles. We didn't end up walking today, but I figure that will probably be good to let our muscles recuperate. We also had dinner at Olive Garden this evening. When our waitress brought the bread sticks to the table, we told here to just take them back because we weren't going to eat them, so that was a great choice. I had one bowl of the Zuppa Toscana, which is the same thing I always have haha. I also had about 3 plates of their awesome salad too. So I am sure that the soup had a ton of sodium, but I will just continue to drink my water and hope I don't retain too much. I'm worried I will lose the next weigh in because of the scale not wanting to budge. But hey, who knows, I could be pleasantly surprised. No real plans for tomorrow, but I will make it a point to go and walk the trails tomorrow.

      I've been looking over all of my Hindi books. I've got 3 now and I'm starting to recognize just a few words. The biggest problem I have and I think I will continue to have, is pronunciation. It's tough. But, I suppose practice makes perfect, and I have plenty of time to practice.

      Mom and I are also going to be sewing our own dresses. We'll probably work on them tomorrow. We went and picked out some fabric and patterns after dinner. I have never made a dress before, and I've made only one thing (kinda successfully) out of a pattern. I really like the fabric, and If I can't figure a dress out, I'll try a skirt or shirt.

Well I am practically falling asleep on my keyboard.. gonna go catch some Zs..

Holy CRAP my legs are sore!!!

      Wow, I didn't think jogging would make my legs so freaking sore! What am I doing about it? Going for another walk/jog this afternoon! I'm not slowing down yet! No movement on the scale yet this week, but I'm not discouraged. I am just now getting back to our walks and adding jogging in with it, after a week of doing nothing. So hopefully by Monday, I will see a nice loss. OK, need to get some stuff done..

Its 2:05AM... I should be sleeping...

      But I am not tired yet. Well we FINALLY got back to the park to walk. I'm happy to report that my ankle was healed enough so that I could run!!! We did intervals of jogging/running and walking. I'm really excited about it and I feel like I got a good workout. Since I was up, I watched 2 episodes of The Biggest Loser, Season 9 on Hulu. I realize that their weight loss is very unrealistic, but I still feel inspired watching it. Although, I have the best inspiration already, every little push helps. Now that we're back to walking at the park, I'm hoping for better results on the scales too. We also decided to start our own little biggest loser's club. So far, it consists of me, Mom, my cousin K, and friend N. Each week we will all put $5 in a pot. Whoever loses the biggest % of weight loss at the end of the week wins the money. That is potentially $20 per week! I decided that If I did win at all, I am going to put that money aside and save it for clothes from the Festival of India. I'm really looking forward to getting some kurtis and a sari. If I can't afford the sari, then at least a few nice kurtis. Hopefully by the time that comes around, I will be 23ish lbs lighter!

      Another thing I have to look forward to by the end of this week, is that a friend is sending me another Hindi book that is accompanied by two audio CDs, and the new Alice in Wonderland movie. I'm mostly excited about the book more than anything really lol. I really want to dive in deeper to Hindi. I'm not getting very far right now.


OK, better at least try to get to bed...

Today is a day to paint...

      I've said before how I have been painting again, although I havn't gone into much detail about it. I've always loved art. Drawing, painting, sketching, coloring, photography, ceramics, etc. I had stopped painting for so long, because (I think) I had lost my muse. Well I rediscovered it after I had been away from meri jaan. I've done a few different ones, all having one central theme.. India. Today I'm going to be working on one that I am very excited about. I'll post a picture just as soon as I can. But, for now, here are the others I have finished...









with flash


without flash

0.8 lbs is still a loss...

      ...although I wish it were a larger one. Slow and steady wins the race. I think the problem was that we didn't walk at all last week, which I'm not too happy about. We didn't even go yesterday because it took forever to fix the AC that still doesn't work exactly right. But, no excuses this week. Tomorrow when we get home from Mom's office, we will go immediately after we change, and we will continue to go every day this week. So my fingers are crossed for a bigger loss for next week!

Today is a good day...

      I'm off work today. It has been a pretty lazy Sunday (Ravivaar in Hindi). I feel kind of accomplished today. Not that I have done anything in particular today, but that I am still committed to my weight loss. In the past, I probably wouldn't have made it past a month and I would've reverted back to my old ways of eating/drinking. I just have the best motivation in the world IMO. I am starting to realize that I really really can do this. It may take the whole 11 months, but I will do this! We'll be going to the park after it cools off to finally get back to walking. I am going to insist that we do the entire 2.84 miles. I am also going to attempt to jog some of it if my ankle will allow me to.

      I got one of my Hindi books in the mail a few days ago. It's a Hindi, Urdu, & Bengali Phrasebook. I'm making flash cards of phrases and words that I will probably use most. Jaan told me to memorize the days of the week by the end of today. Monday=Somvaar, Tuesday=Mangalvaar, Wednesday=Buudvaar, Thursday=Guruvaar, Friday=Shuukravaar, Saturday=Shanivaar, and Sunday=Ravivaar.

       I do have to work tomorrow, but I am off Tuesday-Saturday, so I will probably end up going with my mom to her office. I like to go there 1. because it is cooler than the house, 2. better computer, 3.I like to paint there. I have one completed sketch to paint, one sketch that just needs a little more added to it, and I have a sketch planned for another painting, so I will have a lot I can do. I also have another book coming in the mail, so that will also give me more to study... I just need to keep myself busy and stay on track!

After a loooong break, its back to work :-/

      I realize that it has been since Monday that I last posted. Not that it truly matters I guess. The only one who reads this is Jaan. *shrug* I've been doing really well with eating still. I'm slacking just slightly on the water, and we havn't been for our walk in what feels like forever. I'm hoping that we can fit it in tomorrow after I get off work. I am REALLY NOT looking forward to getting up in the morning! Hell, I should be sleeping now..

      I also havn't gotten much done with French or Hindi. Although I can count from 1-10 in Hindi now. Ek, do, teen, char, paanch, chey, saat, aath, nou, das. Oh, and zero is shunya. I did manage to summon the enthusiasm to paint again. I finished two this week, and have sketches for more. I hope that I will be able to start them. I plan to start one of them on Sunday. If I don't finish though, I don't know when I will be able to. There is soooo much stuff I need to do next week. Get a new license, replacement title, plates/tags, inspection, and insurance.. I am going to be pretty good friends with the local DMV by the time I get all this crap sorted out.

Back to blogging...

      So I took the weekend off from blogging, but I'm back at it now. I just didn't have the enthusiasm to blog. But, I am back now so I'll try to keep up. Today is weigh day and I'm pleased to say I am down another 1.8lbs! I stepped on the scale this morning and it said 199.6! Yay!!! I'm pretty excited to see a '1' in front of my weight! I think I will need to reformulate my goals a bit. I didn't expect to lose so much the first week.

      OK, so I only changed a few goals for now. I didn't have to change them all. Here are the ones I did change:

• June 21 (First day of Summer): 196.5
• July 5: 193.5
• September 25 (Festival of India): 175!!

There are a few in-between July and Sept., but I didn't feel the need to change them, they looked good they way they were.  I made the Sept. 25 goal a big goal, and my reward for it will be buying awesome clothes at the Festival of India. So excited!

      Jaan has finally said that he will tell his dad by the end of the week about me. I'm nervous and at the same time I look forward to it because I will know after that when we will get married, and when I will go to India. So I guess we'll see what happens...

      I finally found a cheap book for Hindi and Bengali phrases (it also has Urdu). I ordered it on eBay, and hopefully it will get here within 2 weeks. Only about $5 with free shipping! But I know that this will only be an aid, and I need to find some books that will actually teach me the basics and beyond. Jaan is supposed to find me some books, so I look forward to those as well.

I'm Losing...

      ...Motivation. Not to lose the weight, or to go for walks, but I'm losing motivation to write on this blog. I think its because I'm really down at the moment. It has only been two weeks, and already it feels like it has been a month since Jaan left. He suggested I take some sort of class or do something to keep me busy. I need to continue to paint. I will have to remember to get some paint tomorrow. I'll be having lunch with my best friend, who I havn't seen in months, so I'll have her take me to the craft store. I'll have to post pictures of some of my more recent paintings tomorrow.

      Mom and I went for our walk again today. I'm glad that she is keeping up with it and still has the motivation to keep going with me. We also went to a Restaurant/Bar with some family for my cousin's boyfriend's birthday. I was soo good. I had unsweetened tea that I sweetened with Splenda, and a side salad. Now Mom is cooking some grilled chicken. We'll watch some movies and I'll wait for meri jaan to call.

Breaks over...

      After two days of break from walking, we got back at it and went walking at the park yesterday. My shins had stopped hurting and my ankle is almost completely healed, so hopefully I'll be able to start jogging soon. I also started my french lessons on Livemocha.com yesterday. Its kinda similar to spanish and I think that will help me to learn.

       Jaan gave me a website with the Hindi alphabet and numbers. The alphabet looks kinda intimidating! *sigh* Well I do have like a year! I'm off work until the 11th! Ugh its quite annoying. I stayed home today instead of going to work with my mom. I got to chat on Skype with meri jaan. Now I have nothing to do. I've been watching movies and surfing the net. I should be studying my french or hindi for that matter.. lets see if I can get something accomplished...

June First!

      Today has been pretty uneventful. Worked early this morning, got off at about 3PM and my stupid car wouldn't start, so Mom came and gave me a jump. Then came home for a bit, went to the thrift store, grocery store, dollar store, and movie store. Now Mom is cooking dinner and there isn't much else to do.One thing that I did find out today, was that my (whether she likes it or not) future mother in-law, said she'd "think about" letting him marry me. I hope she realizes that it will happen one way or another. He told me that he had said to her, "please let me be happy!" and that he also told her that he cannot live without me. I think she'll soon start to realize she doesn't have a choice in the matter, and to just accept me and let him be happy.

Weigh Day!

      I stepped on the scale this morning and I was pleasantly surprised! I am at 201.4lbs! I lost more than I thought I would. That's a 4.8lb loss! Yay for me! After next week, I will see if I need to reformulate my goals.

      Today was a pretty busy day. I was up early talking to my Jaan, and then I had to be at work at 10AM. Work was pretty busy. At least busy enough to keep me from feeling too down. (just about him being so far away..) Got off at 6PM and ran home to take a shower, then it was off to my Auntie's house for a cookout with some family and a few friends. I did really good and ate some chicken, salad, fruit salad, a tiny bit of baked beans and only a few bites of potato salad. I also got to chat with Jaan a bit then too. Now, I should be in bed, because I have to get up at at least 6AM to go to bed, but I am patiently waiting for a call from him lol. I am quite tired though, I only hope I do not fall asleep before I get to talk to him.

      We are going to start learning french together. We'll be using Livemocha.com for a bit and see how that goes. It seems pretty cool. It supposedly teaches you similar to the way Rosetta Stone teaches. He has also been searching for some materials to help me learn Hindi. I think he is getting excited at the thought of me coming to India. Not just that I will be with him, but he actually wants to show me India. This year can't pass quickly enough! I really look forward to going. I know it will be a HUGE adjustment, and I will be far from home, but I can't help but be excited. Its something so different, and so new to me. Fascinating! I would love to do some photography there. It looks so colorful and alive. *sigh* This will be a long 11 months...

2.84 Miles!

      2.84 miles.. That is how far we walked at the park today. I snapped a pic of the map, its a bit fuzzy because it was with my cell, but I highlighted our route we walked.



      A nice workout before weigh-day tomorrow! I really really hope I can maintain this motivation!

Looking forward to the weigh-in...

      So this morning I took a sneak peak at my weight. I won't say anything yet, just that I was surprised! I also got a little notebook and I've started recording my food, that way I'll be able to see what caused my weight gain/loss. Anyway, talked to Jaan this morning. It was about 7AM here when he called, making it 4:30PM in India. He still has yet to tell his parents about me. He said he would try to do that today. He even said his mom had asked about his tattoo. He told her what it said, and to our surprise, she didn't ask anything else about it! Just to give you an idea, this is our tattoo:



Its an ambigram that says: 'come what may', words that really mean a lot to us. I am still so baffled that his mom didn't say anything else about it. I think that she either assumes its something to do with me, or she just dismissed it as her son doing whatever he wanted in America. I don't know. There has been ONE occasion that he had said he had a girlfriend in America. She didn't get much chance to say anything at the time, because he had bad reception and his calls kept dropping. She still hasn't said anything about it after that. But, he said he needed to tell them soon, so that if they don't agree, he could find a job here in the states. He said that he needed to do something soon, because he didn't think that it would be that hard without me, and that he was wrong. *Sigh* Hopefully within the next 3 months, I will have gotten my divorce from my first marriage over and done with, and I'll have started the process to get my passport. Fingers crossed!!! I was and still am really looking forward to going to India. Even if we don't end up living there, I at least want to visit once. It just looks so interesting, unique, colorful, etc.

      In a few minutes here, I'll be going to the park again with another friend who is trying to lose weight. Every time I see him it seems as if he has shed 10-15 lbs! He is doing very good, and I hope I can have the same success. I am going to try to coerce him to go on a longer trail with me. I've never done any exercise with him, so I have no idea if he is one of those who will complain the whole way lol. Ok, this just in, my cousin is also coming. Gotta go for now, the park is calling!

Defeating temptation at a Buffet..

      Today was a pretty good day. My mom, little sis, cousin, and I went to the park and walked a trail that was a little over 1.5 miles. FINALLY got some kind of exercise! I know its not much, but its something! We plan on doing it again tomorrow morning too. I just want to keep it up and at least do some sort of physical activity every day. My mom has some 'Core Rhythms' workout DVDs that I could try. She may also have some 'Taebo' too.

      Jaan called me this afternoon when he got home in Kolkata. We spoke for a little bit and then he went to bed. He called again at about 9PM this evening when he woke up. It was about 6:30AM Sunday his time. That is one thing that we will both have to get used to. The only time that we will be able to talk to each other is when he is going to bed and I'm waking up, or visa versa. I've also been thinking about sending him a care package with things that he likes from America and a few inside jokes. Like breathe right strips.. he snores sooo loud haha! I need some more ideas though of what to send him.

      Dinner tonight was out at Golden Corral. I was really proud of myself! I had a salad with some italian dressing, grilled chicken, a few small hunks of ham, onion, and cucumber. Then a plate with some chickpeas, green beans, a little bit of rice, a small baked sweet potato, one chunk of orange chicken and two chunks of beef tips. An odd mix I know, but it was yummy. I also avoided eating one of the yummy rolls they put on the table. I actually had my mom move them to the other side of the table, just so they didn't tempt me. I'm proud of myself.  I know that this time around losing weight is different. I've got all this great motivation and so many things to look forward to. I know that my number one source of motivation is my Jaan. Even though he is 8200+ miles away, everything I do revolves around him. I wouldn't have it any other way!

      I've been drinking some green tea along with just plain water, and when I do have the green tea, I sweeten it with Splenda. Lately though, I feel like when I drink the tea, even though I know its not real sugar, it seems as if I am drinking a bunch of sugar. Perhaps its the sweetness, or my subconscious trying to make me stop having something that tastes sweet. Either way, I think I am going to stop using it. I figure, if I can drink plain ol' water, I can drink unsweetened green tea.

      Oh, I forgot to put this in yesterday's post. After my mom and I left her office yesterday, we went to a few thrift stores in the area. I found a pair of size 9 Arizona jeans for 99 cents. 99 CENTS!!! First of all, I have a pair of Arizona jeans in my size now, and I love them. Second, I feel like they will motivate me to lose the weight to get into them. Third, you can't beat 99 cents! I'd really like to find some cheap in-between jeans too. Maybe a size 14 and a size 12. Clothes is something I really look forward to once I get the weight off. I've always wanted to wear cute clothes but was always too big to actually look cute in them.

Well its off to bed... Good Night to you, Good Morning Jaan!

Stupid Ankle!!

      OK, so the Couch to 5K is gonna have to be put on hold :(. A few weeks ago I sprained my ankle by doing something stupid, won't go into detail but, I had been recovering for the past few weeks. I had thought that I was completely healed up, but I keep twisting it or putting weight on it wrong at work, so it is still just a bit sore. I'm afraid that if I try to run, I will mess it up again or more than it already is. I tried to jog in place, and I feel pain when my foot/ankle are bent in a certain way. I'm really really disappointed. I REALLY wanted to start the C25K on Monday. I never thought I'd be this disappointed about not being able to do exercise! BUT, I will start to walk for at least 30 minutes every day until I feel that my ankle is good to go.

      Jaan boarded his flight to India a few hours ago. He is so sweet. He had called before he got on the plane to tell me he'd call me tomorrow evening, and to say goodbye. After 15-20 minutes, he calls me once he is on the plane, just to say he loved me and goodbye again :). He also said this time, that he would call me as soon as he reached Calcutta(Kolkata). I have this feeling that over the next few days, he will be explaining me to his mom. He had asked me, "what do I tell my mom when she sees my tattoo?". (We got matching tattoos on our wrists a few weeks ago) "And your necklace." (I gave him one with my name on it) "The truth", I had said. "You mas as well tell her about me now, and be truthful about it, because she'd just be upset with you if she found out you had lied to her." He agreed that I was right, but he sounded reluctant about telling her.

      I went to work with mom again today, and for lunch we, along with my mom's boss, went to an Indian restaurant called Rajput. They had a really yummy buffet, which was  mostly vegetarian. I was hesitant to go to a buffet, but I really wanted Indian food. I am happy to say that I did really good and only had ONE plate of food! I had tandoori chicken, two other chicken dishes, a veggie dish, a tofu dish, some basmati rice, and some naan. I don't think Jaan would've liked it though, not enough spice for him :). 

      I also had a small NSV (Non-Scale Victory) today. I bought some chocolate covered almonds today, and was able to eat 6 or 7 and put them away! Normally I would've eaten the whole pack, which is probably 30ish! I was amazed at my self control! So, yay for me! lol

My Plan for Exercise...

      I've always seen different people discussing this on forums, but never took a look at it until now. I plan to start the 'Couch to 5K' on Monday. If you've never heard of it, its a 9 week program that supposedly helps you go from short intervals of walking and jogging, to jogging 5 kilometers without stopping. 9 weeks! Wow! Looks easy enough, and I have GOT to start some kind of exercise program. So, If I start this Monday, the 31st, I will finish by July 30th! You can check out the program here: http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml

      Tomorrow morning, jaan will get on a plane and fly to New York, and then tomorrow evening, he will fly to India. He is my inspiration, or 'thinspiration' if you prefer. I've tried dieting and losing weight several times before, but I feel like this time is different, because I actually have something to work towards and look forward to. I want to be thinner for him, for his mother, to wear beautiful Indian clothing, and also just to feel better about myself. He is planning on losing weight, so I can't let him slim down and remain as big as a whale. Jaan e-mailed me some pictures that a friend of his took of us. I was so disgusted when I saw them. All I kept thinking was, 'Am I really that big?! Do I really look like that?!?'. Pictures like that also inspire me to lose the weight. I believe it is possible to do it in 6 months, but... my goals from my previous post, are spaced out for I think 10 months. If the weight starts falling off, I will reformulate my goals. 

Aloo Gobi for Breakfast and Home-made Chapatis

This is what I had for breakfast this morning!:



Left-over Aloo Gobi from last night's dinner, a scrambled egg, and a chapati. Yum!

      Today has been a pretty boring day. I did make my own chapatis finally though. I made up the dough and rolled them out, laid them on some wax paper and froze them for later.



I did cook one, to see how they turned out, and they're not bad!

      My mom and little sister are going to a concert tonight, so for dinner, I think I may have a tuna steak, Mmmm! One of the few fish I actually like.  I guess I should get used to eating different fish...they eat a lot of it in India. I'm just glad I don't really eat a lot of beef haha!

Sweet Website for Recipes!

http://www.manjulaskitchen.com/

It even has an adorable old Indian lady with videos of her cooking! I'm going to try her chapati recipe tonight!

Setting Goals...

     So today, I accompanied my mom to her work. Not much to do at home and I won't be tempted to eat bad stuff, not that I really have much desire to. Granted, there isn't much to do here either, but there is a computer with a HUGE monitor... much better than the tiny netbook I normally use. I decided to set some goals and even printed up a neat chart to record weights on. So my goals for the next 10 months are as follows:

1. June 21st-First day of summer!: 198.2
2. July 5th-Day after Independence Day: 195
3. August 7th-5 month anniversary: 188
4. September 6th-Lil Sis's birthday: 182
5. September 25th-Festival of India: 178
6. October 31st-Halloween: 173
7. November 29th-Monday after Thanksgiving: 168
8. December 27th-Monday after Christmas: 164
9. January 17th-Random day lol: 160
10. February 14th-Valentine's Day: 156
11. March 7th-1 yr anniversary and my jaan's birthday!!: 150!

      I thought I'd give an explaination of what the days are. I usually dont like to have just a random day. I like to have an event or something to work toward. I also gave myself a little more room during Thanksgiving and Christmas in case I don't lose as much as I want to lol.

     Tonight, I think I will make some kind of Indian food. I'm thinking about Aloo Gobi or Cashew Chicken, but I'm not sure just yet. I did discover a really neat-looking festival held at the capitol city. Its called 'Festival of India' and the pictures on the website look so cool. It will give me a chance to buy a sari! Jaan and I were trying to find places locally that sold sarees, but we could never find them. Its also not until September 25-26th, so that will give me time to slim down a bit. Definitely something I'm looking forward to!

Day 1...

      I started my morning having to chase down 3 of our 5 dogs, bring them back home, and give them baths because they smelled like a shit swamp. Of course, after all of that, I smelled bad too so I jumped in the shower. For breakfast, there wasn't much to have. I settled for 2 eggs, scrambled, strawberry yogurt, and an english muffin. I did weigh myself before all that nonsense, and I was 206.2lbs. Only 56.2lbs to go haha. 

"Last Meal"

      Right now I'm enjoying the last bit of real sugar I will have in a loooong time. My 'last meal' of sorts is a big slice of New York style cheese cake, Mmmm! I am really excited to start eating right though. My mom started her garden a week or so ago, and the vegetables are already growing very fast. She has planted tomatoes, onions, peppers, cucumbers, green beans, squash, and zucchini. I look forward to using it all. Since my jaan has introduced me to Indian food, I realize that you can have awesome and tasty food without using a lot of salt. Its all about the spices. I never really used many spices in my cooking, and when I told my jaan that I wanted to start making Indian food, he brought me all his spices to cook with. He also plans to lose some weight when he goes back home to India. We'll be a couple of sexay people :P

Today was the most depressing day ever...

      Today, the love of my life left the state, and by Friday, he will have left the country. He is from Calcutta (Kolkata), India. (I will always refer to him as my jaan) I will not see him, physically, for about 11 months. It was all I could do to keep myself from crying all the way to work this morning. But, he told me to be happy, and to use this year to spend time with my family, because after he comes back, I hope to be going with him to India. There is much to accomplish before I see him again. I want to lose about 60lbs, I am going to be learning Hindi and French, learning to cook Indian food, get my divorce from my first marriage, get my passport, and eventually my visa.

      In order to lose the weight, I plan to avoid sugar, soda, high-sodium, fried, high-fat, etc. Also drink a lot of water. My jaan will be teaching me Hindi, and we will be learning French together. He taught me to cook a few Indian dishes before he left.

      So tonight is the first lonely night of sooo many to come. This will be the hardest 11 months to get through, but in the end, it will be so worth it.